ELIGHT is no longer in active production on the web.

Please visit some of the sites we recommend.

YOUTH Email Lists


Computer Safety

Coming Out Tips


Other Sites

When you care... Bonusround



Making a difference for gay and questioning youth and young adults.


Our good friend Clyde Berry came up with these 24 helpful coming out tips. Nice list, and humorous too!

24 Coming Out Tips
by Clyde Berry

1. Never come out in an argument or to hurt someone

2. Never come out in a moving vehicle.

3. A person is more intelligent than a group of people, come out to people one at a time and somewhere private.

4. People who are ignorant may say things initially that they don't realize are painful to hear. Remember that they are simply unaware and in a state of surprise.

5. They may already know.

6. Coming out in drag is a bit much (unless you really have the right shoes...)

7. People have to deal with 1) the issue of homo/bi/trans stuff and 2) you as a person 3) the combination of the two since you probably don't fit the stereotype they have about gay peeps.

8. Be sober

9. Don't have your lover with you. This is not "Let's Make a Deal" more surprises are not good.

10. Be ready for them to need time and space to think about things before any discussion takes place.

11. Be ready for them to drill you with questions that may or may not offend you (see #4)

12. Sometimes it's easier to read about an issue than to admit you are uneducated. Have a book, pamphlet, phone number, or other resource that can be called when you aren't around.

13. It is your life to live, you only have one, and the bottom line is that you are going to continue living as a gay person no matter what their reaction is.

14. It may not be a bad idea to have smelling salts handy.

15. There are people who will never be supportive no matter what is said.

16. If your audience had that deer in the headlights look, don't make any quick moves.

17. Breathe. (seriously)

18. No two coming out experiences are ever the same.

19. Don't plan on doing anything else for the rest of the day/night.

20. People will need a lot of time, for the most part, to really think about things.

21. Always have an escape plan. You may not need it, but if you do, you won't be surprised. Have a place to crash for the night, and money you can get to in case a worse case scenario does occur.

22. Have resources for you to call, you need support, too!

23. Just because you come out to someone once, doesn't mean you won't have to do it again, and again, and again...

24. Do not try to answer questions about Richard Simmons, Rosie O'Donnel Keanu Reeves, Tom Cruise, Richard Gere (or the Gerbils), Oscar Wilde, the Spice Girls, Bert and Ernie, or anyone else.

Clyde Berry

YGS Board of Directors
Nice Guy

Just to make it official, yes you may use my 24 coming out tip list. Please have a mailto link with my YGS address. Make sure to say that you are using this list with MY permission (not XY's) however, you should probably mention that it was published in two of their issues.

Others may copy the tips to their sites, with the same requests (notification, email link, permissions, etc)

ELIGHT is produced by volunteers. No one was paid to produce this site.
ELIGHT is a project of Youth Guardian Services, a 501(c)3 non profit organization.
Donations are tax deductible.

Use our email form to send us any comments.
Unsolicited commercial email is prohibited.

Copyright 1995 - 2014 Youth Guardian Services Incorporated